The Problem with Faith

I wish I were Catholic.

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After all, I grew up in the church. I know the names of my saints and which I should speak with when faced with a particular problem (St. Jude = Patron saint of lost items). I know my prayers and the Ten Commandments. After teaching Sunday school for three years, I even know a significant portion of church dogma (teachings).

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The problem? I don’t believe it. I doubt. More than doubt… I challenge. I believe gay marriage is necessary and a positive move forward. I think women should be allowed to be priests. I think priests should be allowed to get married. I don’t like to hear “Because the Catholic church teaches it” as the answer when I ask “What’s the logic behind a particular church teaching?” I’m open to the idea that I could be wrong, but I just wish the church was equally humble. Faith is many things, but “certainty” isn’t one of them.

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This brings into question this idea of faith. The term is thrown around often, but I find in incredibly illusive. After all, it is called a ‘gift’ so assumably not everyone receives it. Maybe I was just not one of those people. If that’s the case I don’t want to just give up. I believe that being Catholic… being any faith is not a declaration. You can’t just say, “I’m a Christian,” and let it be. The answer isn’t that simple. Faith is a question, that throughout our lives we attempt to figure out. Churches are there to guide us, but the journey is our own. It has valleys and mountain peeks. Being Christian is the process we all go through to find our conclusion. Doubt is okay because we’re human and were never really certain about anything.

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I grew up in a small town on the south shore of Nova Scotia and just finished a four year Bachelor of Public Relations program. Attempting to keep the student status quo I applied to a few Masters Programs and got accepted in Brock University’s Master of Popular Culture. Now I’ve moved half way across the country to a new city, a new career, and single for the first time in four years.

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With a blank page before me, it’s about time I pick up where I left off and continue my attempt to answer the question that is faith. Thus I’ve launched my motivating project, “Getting Over Doubt (G.O.D.).” It’s my version of a religious blog. For the next year, I’m going to research a variety of different religions and denominations and take them for a test drive. I’m going to attend masses and services, attempt to follow religious codes of conduct, and talk with church leaders and parishioners. Keeping an open mind, I’ll do what, as a Catholic, I was told not to. I’m shopping around for my religion and taking full advantage of the multitude of different faiths in the Niagara region.

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Not giving up on my faith is my way of keeping faith. The journey begins today.

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Your friend in searching,

Jeff